Funny list of things not to do in Israel?

So my sister (17 years old) is going to Israel and I want to make her a list of things not to do. Like don't come back married and things like that b/c i think it would be pretty funny. Any ideas?

Funny list of things not to do in Israel?
When someone shouts duck don't look up.





Never go out with a guy that can't pronounce the letter p.





Don't piis off a Camel. (they spit)





Don't say "come see me sometime", they will !!





Do get used to the sight of hairy chests in the summer.











I'll think of more
Reply:don't drink and drive... smoke and fly... j/k...


seriously---


don't come back and shout I'm holy !! I'm holy!!! touch me I was in Israel!!!
Reply:1.) Don't Come Back With A Religious Leaders Name


2.) Don't Spend More Than 50% Of Your Day At The Wailing Wall


3.) Don't Convert To Orthodox Or Atheism


4.) Don't Cut Your Hair


5.) Don't Stare


6.) Don't Upsurp Authority


7.) Don't Steal


8.) Don't Loiter Around The Dome Of The Rock


9.) "Stay Away From The Muslims" Someones Quote


10. Don't Criticize


11.) Don't Get 'Jerusalem Syndrome'


12.) "Stay Away From The Juice" Thought That'd Be Funny


13.) Come Back Alive





Thanks! Hope These Help!
Reply:Don't go to a kosher resturant and ask for bacon and eggs, or ask for a cheese burger


Don't order a pastrami on white bread with mayo


Don't come back wearing a sheidel,
Reply:Seriously, do not go to Egypt once you have had your passport stamped in Israel. It is all right to go to Egypt first. The Jews understand.


Don't get involved with any kind of illegal drugs in any foreign country. Theirs laws are different and stricter and their prisons make ours look like resorts.


It is perfectly all right to go as long as she is with a group and stays with the group. Everyone on both sides of the political fence like those tourist dollars.
Reply:1)dont touch the newspapers outside a store unless your gonna buy it


2) if they start yelling at you speeak english


3) dont make fun of anyone in english (its likely that they know what you are saying)


4) dont be shy to go to the shuk and ask for free samples


5) dont save your money...shop


6) don't settle at one price...you can alwasy lower it
Reply:Don't forget your suitcase in the middle of a public place.





Don't order bacon in the hotel breakfast buffet.





Don't fall prey to "Jerusalem Syndrome".





Don't go to Mea Shearim in shorts and a tube top.





Don't go to Gaza.





Don't go too far north and ignore the sign about a border.





Don't drink water out of the Dead Sea.





Don't take pictures at the Western Wall on Shobbos.





Don't tease the camels.
Reply:Just ask her to be careful.
Reply:All of these are from personal experiences:





Do NOT talk to taxi drivers with an American accent (mimic the accent of someone from a very poor country).





Do NOT let someone who does not speak English cut your hair.
Reply:only one thing:


DONT GO
Reply:1. Return to the States before you become insane.
Reply:1. no dying





2 dont get her head blown off





3 talk to a weirdo





4 stop praying